So if you secretly really liked that gay sex dream, does that make you gay full stop? Probably not - but your sexuality, just like your subconscious, is fluid and always evolving. New Gallup poll findings show that “ one in six Gen Z adults consider themselves LGBT,” overall LGBT alignment has increased from 4.5% in 2017 to 5.6% of the population across generations in 2021, and the majority of those LGBT Americans identifies as Bisexual. Human sexuality is an open-ended spectrum.
But that journey can usually only come after you’ve had that safety space.” “If I had a client who was succumbing to the homophobic, heteronormative discourse that forces us to ask, like, ‘Oh my god, am I this or that?’ I would tell them: I’m not sure, either. However you navigate it, after you’ve taken the time to acknowledge that fear and anxiety, now you have the opportunity to really examine how you want to make meaning of that dream,” he says. “OK, you had a homoerotic dream, you’re not queer, you’re not gay, if you don’t want to be. It’s also possible that, after the initial shock or anxiety about the dream, you realize that it actually felt good, and these are feelings you think you might like to explore. “There’s a fear of anything not straight,” he says. Thao emphasizes the power that these cultural norms have, especially when we’re trying to understand our own sexualities. Your discomfort is a reflection of the prevailing social structures in place that regularly demonize queerness and encourage us to think in binary terms. Just like a gay dream doesn’t automatically make you gay, having negative or uncomfortable feelings about your dream doesn’t automatically make you homophobic.
Don’t shift too quickly to reassurance mode you don’t immediately have to feel like, ‘Oh my god, it’s OK!’ Totally honor that space.” “As someone who identifies as a gay male raised in conservative Christian church culture, when I first had those thoughts I was like, ‘Oh my god, I don’t want to think about those things.’ But the truth is, for me personally and in my experience working with, I’ve found that it’s really important to honor that. “Honor that fear process,” Thao tells Elite Daily. If you’re feeling a little freaked out by a queer dream, Luke Thao, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate (LMFTA) and member of the PNW Sex Therapy Collective based in Seattle, says it’s important to acknowledge your discomfort. But if you’re a straight-identifying person, that gay dream has the potential to shake you up - and that’s OK. It's all about having or needing a psychological connection with the person in your dream or merging a particular quality that person has into your own personality.”Įven if you identify as straight, a gay sex dream here and there does not necessarily demonstrate a deeper homoerotic urge. “In most cases, sex in a dream is not about a physical union you want, but rather a psychological union you need or want. “Sex in a dream is rarely about sex at all - sorry to take the fun out of it,” dream expert Lauri Loewenberg previously told Elite Daily. Those seemingly random gay dreams you had about your hot second cousin twice removed may not be an indication of actual desire for them - instead, it’s your brain’s way of communicating something about your relationship, sensual or otherwise. Whether it’s a sex dream about a friend, a sex dream about the lanky bartender you saw last weekend, or a sex dream about your cat, what goes on in our subconscious often feels like it’s coming way out of left field.